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November 25, 2020 at 11:00:00 PM
吳玲瑤,作家
作家吳玲瑤應邀去北加州台灣大學校友會杜鵑花之夜演講,主題是人到中年後的困境,全場七百人笑聲不斷,表示有共鳴。作家吳玲瑤能開開自己年紀的玩笑,也算是一種成長後的開朗豁達。
有首歌唱的是明天會更好,為了是給人信心與鼓勵,其實現實生活裡明天會不會更好不知道,但明天會更老是確定的。歲月要走過,才知道它的凌礪,到了某個年紀不得不承認地心引力的厲害,器官樣樣俱在,只是都下垂,所謂的:「萬般皆下垂,唯有血壓高」。有人因此特別忌諱說老,連「我先走一步」也不能說。
中年後的身體起了很大的變化,蘋果變成梨子型,「坐著打瞌睡,躺著睡不著。想記的記不起來,想忘的忘不掉。」更糟的是哭的時候沒眼淚,笑的時候一直擦淚。頭上是[白髮拔不盡,春風吹又生],男士們的髮型也個個如小說家莫言所說的[地方支持中央],兩邊往中央梳,遮住稀疏的部分。皮膚不長Pimple開始Wrinkle,酒窩變皺紋,皺紋變酒窩,無意中發現本來以為額頭上的幾條紋路只是有抬頭紋,現在卻是不抬頭也有,還好這個時候有老花眼白內障,也不怎麼看得清楚。
記憶力明顯衰退,從一個房間走到另一個房間,就是想不起來到這兒來要做什麼? 忘了剛剛說過的話,變得一再重複碎碎。一位老先生甚至說他有一次竟然笑到一半忘記為何而笑。
聽力不行了,一位做了二十幾年百貨公司銷售員的女士,因為耳朵背,被換到抱怨部門去,反正聽不到,隨您抱怨。另一位女士說她坐公車,站在她前面的一個男孩一直跟她講話,她因為聽不到就提醒對方說不必講了,那男孩竟然說他只是在嚼口香糖,沒有和她說話啊。
高科技不來電也是年歲漸長的特徵,家裡一停電,所有的鐘都閃再十二點,有一位朋友要去歐洲玩,女兒說:「媽,現在沒有人用傳統相機,這個數位相機您帶著,只要一按一按就可以了。」媽媽沿途拍了五百張,回來往電腦裡一放,怎麼五百張都是鼻子? 原來媽媽把相機拿反。
少年夫妻老來伴,中年夫妻怎麼辦? 有人形容食之為味,棄之可惜,彼此的壞習慣改不了,有的夫妻是什麼項目都可以吵,從來沒有妥協過,想想婚前是好有話說,婚後變成有話好說。
每個來到世間的生命,像整存零付一樣,一點一滴地離去,剛剛才是意氣風發的少年,一轉眼變成哀樂中年,還有人要譏笑說這些人是:「知識退化,器官老化,思想僵化,等待火化」。所以心裡建設靠自己,要人老心不老,皺紋長在臉上,不長在心上。再想想許多人沒有老的權利,年紀輕輕的就歸道山,生活態度也要調整,以前用健康換金錢,現在要用金錢換健康,有所謂的人生三歷,少年爭取的是好學歷,中年成功與否看經歷,年紀越來越大就要看病歷。有好的健康才能說人生如倒吃甘蔗,好日子還在後頭,Robert Browning的詩說的是:
Grow old along with me,
The best is yet to be。
We Will Be Older Tomorrow
Nov 25, 2020
Lingyao Wu
The writer Wu Lingyao was invited to give a speech at the Azalea Night organized by the Alumni Association of Taiwan University, Northern California. The topic was the plight of middle-aged people. Seven hundred people laughed constantly and expressed sympathy. The writer Wu Lingyao can make fun of her own age, which can be regarded as a kind of open-mindedness after growing up.
There is a song saying that tomorrow will be better, in order to give people confidence and encouragement, in fact, in real life, I don't know whether tomorrow will be better, but it is always certain that we will be older tomorrow . The years have to pass before I know its ruggedness. At a certain age, I have to admit that gravity is so powerful that wee still have all organs, but they are all drooping. The so-called "All things droop, only high blood pressure gets higher." For this reason, some people are particularly taboo to say that they are old, and they can't even say "I will go one step ahead."
My body changed a lot after middle age. The apple became a pear shape. "Sitting and dozing off, lying down and unable to fall asleep. You can't remember what you want to remember, and you can't forget what you want to forget." Even worse, when crying there were no tears at the time, but I kept wiping tears when I laughed. In my head is [white hair can not be pulled out, spring breeze blows again], and the men’s hair styles are all like the novelist Mo Yan said [local supports the center], combing both sides to the center to cover the sparse part. When the skin is getting old, Pimple starts to wrinkle, the dimples become wrinkles, and the wrinkles become dimples. I accidentally discovered that the stripes on the forehead were just forehead lines, but now they do not look up. Fortunately, there are presbyopia and cataracts at this time, and everything doesn’t look much clear.
My memory is obviously decayed. I walked from room to room and just can't remember what to do when I came to the room? I forgot what I just said, and my words became broken repeatedly. An old gentleman even said that he once laughed halfway through, the he forgot why he laughed.
My hearing is not good either. A lady who has been a salesperson in a department store for more than 20 years was transferred to the complaining department because of her ears. Another lady said that she was taking the bus, and a boy standing in front of her kept talking to her. Because she couldn't hear well, she reminded the boy that she didn't need to talk. The boy said that he was just chewing gum and didn't talk to her.
High-tech non-calling is also a feature of aging. When having a power outage at home, all the clocks flash at twelve o’clock afterwards. A friend is going to Europe to play. The daughter said, “Mom, no one uses a traditional camera, this digital camera. You take this camera with you, just click and click to shoot pictures." Mom took five hundred pictures along the way and put them in the computer. Why are the five hundred pictures of noses, the daughter wonders? It turned out that mom took the camera upside down.
Young couples come to accompany each other, what should middle-aged couples do? Some people describe thee accompany is like food with no taste, it is hard to eat but it is pity to throw away. When we were old bad habits can’t be changed. Some couples can quarrel in every thing, they have never compromised, think about it. Before marriage there is always something good to talk about, after marriage it becomes saying nicely when something happens.
Every life that came into the world like a full deposit with zero payment, it then left bit by bit. It is like just now a high-spirited boy, suddenly turned into a sorrowful middle-aged person. Some people would ridicule that these people are: "Knowledge is degraded. Organs are aged, thinking is rigid, and they are waiting for cremation." Therefore, we must rely on ourselves for the development of our heart, and we must be old and not to act old, wrinkles grow on the face, not on the heart. Think about this again that many people don’t have the right to be old. They return to Daoshan (heaven) at a young age. One has to adjust the attitude to life. In the past, health was used to exchange money, but now it is necessary to exchange money for health. There is the so-called three calendars of life. Educational background, success or failure in middle-aged people depends on experience, getting older and older depends on medical records. Only if you have good health can you say that life is like eating sugar cane. The good days are yet to come. Robert Browning's poem says:
Grow old along with me,
The best is yet to be.